Overheard in FVHS

Corn Coroners

2009-10-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

Doing math homework, teacher asks a student about what they want to be when they grow up...

Student 1: I want to become a coroner when I grow up!

Teacher: (surprised) Really? Thats cool...

Student 2: (interupts) Coroner? Isn't that like someone who cuts corn or something?

Tripping

2009-10-09T21:35:00.001-07:00

Teacher hands out a test

Boy: Are you trippin?!??!

Teacher: Yes, I do trip a lot...

Sexy Term

2009-09-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

Teacher: There's a term to describe this big idea. Does anyone know the term?

Class: ... ?

Teacher: It's a sexy term.

Class: ...... o.O

Teacher: Yeah, it's intelligently attractive. It's like...Whoa! That's amazing!

Class: .......... xD

Teacher: Anyone know?

Teacher writes something down on the white board.

Teacher: Columbian Exchange! That's the sexy term...Columbian Exchange...Yeah...

Boy: How is that sexy? o.O

Unscented Chocolate

2009-09-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

Teacher writes on the whiteboard.

Teacher: Does this marker smell like something? -hands marker to Girl 1-

Girl 1: No, it doesnt...

Teacher: I could swear it smells like chocolate.

Girl 2: -looks at marker label- No, it doesn't.

Teacher: Really??

Boy: Doesn't your nose burn or something?

Teacher turns back to board writing.

Teacher: -mumbles to himself quietly- I could've sworn...

cloning

2009-05-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

Class is doing a warm-up about the effects of cloning and ways it can be done

*silence*

Student: Woah!!! What if ______(student's name) clones herself?? I would just have to commit suicide because then, not only would I be hearing her talk all the time, but I'd be hearing duplicates of her talking!

Class bursts out with laughter.

Asian Inductions?

2009-05-12T00:41:00.001-07:00

Economics class lecture...

Teacher: Induction. It's going from facts to theory. Can anyone give me an example of induction?
[Student #1 raises hand]

Student #1: You get all straight A's throughout high school. Therefore, you must be Asian.
(class laughs)

Teacher: Okay... yes, can anyone give me another example of induction?
[Student #2 raises hand]

Student #2: You were born in China. Therefore you must be a communist.
(class laughs)

Teacher: [pauses for a second to think] Can anyone give me an example of induction... WITHOUT any Asians?
(class laughter)

Giving Birth

2009-05-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

AP Bio class is discussing the last few days before the AP test.

Teacher: Taking AP Bio is like giving birth! It hurts when you're doing it, but you're happy you did it when you look back!

Student 1: (points out) Yeah, but none of us are taking pain killers.

The class mumbles in agreement.

Teacher: Oh yeah...

Student 2: Keep pushing!

Dont! Stop!

2009-05-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Boy pokes Girl on the side.

Girl: Ahh! Don't! Stop!

Boy: Don't stop? Okay!

Boy pokes Girl some more.

One for All

2009-05-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

Teacher: So how many seniors are on this room?

One student raises his hand, then awkwardly looks around him.

Student: Oh, you got to be kidding me...

Give Those Back!

2009-03-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

Teacher passes back tests to period 1

Student: Um...Teacher, this is period 5's scantrons.

Teacher: What are you doing!?! Give those back! How dare you take these!

According to my Calculations, It Belongs to Mom

2009-03-18T18:06:00.001-07:00

Teacher finds a calculator on a lab table and doesn't know who it belongs to.

Teacher: For future reference, you guys might want to put your name on your calculators from now on.

Boy: My calculator has my mom's name on it! :D

How Long Will you Last?

2009-03-17T22:36:00.000-07:00

Class discusses the CAHSEE a week before testing.

Student 1: What if we aren't done by fourth period?

Teacher: We're having a study period. And besides, you're not going to take 4 or 5 periods taking the CAHSEE...

- - - - -

1st Day of the CAHSEE English (modified day)

Teacher: -takes attendance- Where's Student 1?

Student 2: Still taking the CAHSEE.

Teacher: You're kidding me... - shocked smile-

Student 1 comes in a few minutes after class starts.

Student 1: I couldn't take it anymore... I was soooo bored!

Hilarious.

2009-03-14T23:04:00.001-07:00

Student 1: So I have to do this project on Ghandi..

(With all seriousness:)

Student 2: Wait, is Ghandi a sophmore?

Student 1: Ya, he is, and Jesus graduated last year.

sticks??

2009-03-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

Teacher: ...for you to understand this concept, let me give an example using the game pick up stix. Now how many are familiar with that game?

Student: What do you use to play the game?

Class along with teacher: STICKS!!

Take the Easy Way Out

2009-03-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

Spanish class is practicing using their commands and sense of directions in their textbook.

Teacher: In this activity, we're using a subway map of Mexico City to practice how to get from one place to another. Student, please tell us how to get from Chapultepec Park to Zocalo.

Student: From Chapultepec Park, you take Line 1 and go towards Pino Suarez. Get off there and take...uh... -stares at the book for a few minutes in silence-

Teacher: ...takes...?

Student: Oh my god...why can't you just drive?

Odd Appetite

2009-03-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

Student 1: I like to eat rocks.

Student 2: You're weird.

Binder Identity Theft?

2009-02-28T00:41:00.000-08:00

Boy #1 takes Girl's binder during SSR

Boy #1: This is my binder. See? These are my classes. I'm a straight A student.

Girl: Not straight A's...

Boy #1: Uh-huh.

Girl: So this is your binder?

Boy #1: Yup.

Girl: So you have a boyfriend named Boy #2?

Boy #1: Boyfriend named Boy #2? No...What the heck are you talking about?

Girl: Then who is this? -flips binder to the back cover with pictures with Boy#2-

Boy #1: Oh my god! Someone defaced my binder!!!

Steroidsberry

2009-01-29T15:41:00.000-08:00

Student eats strawberries in Teacher's class

Teacher: That is the biggest strawberry I have ever seen. Is it on steroids?

Laugh with or laugh AT

2009-01-19T16:53:00.000-08:00

After presenting a group video project in Government class...

Student #1: "Aw... come on, Mr. _(teacher's name)_! You liked our project..."

(laughter in class)

Student #2: "You so DID like it, Mr. _(teacher's name)_. You know you did."

Teacher: (says with sarcasm) "Yeah, yeah... sure I did."

Student #1: "You DID! You were LAUGHING!"

Teacher: "Well, there's really two ways to laugh: one with and one AT."

Class: "Oohhhhhh... BURN!"

Hedwig

2009-01-17T16:57:00.000-08:00

Playing Jeopardy for a group project in Government class...

Class: "Miscellaneous for 500!"

Host: "What is Harry Potter's owl name?"

Students raise hand. Picks Student #1.

Student #1: "HEDWIG!!"

Host: "Correct."

Teacher: "The answer to that question should have been, 'who cares?'."

Buttface

2009-01-15T17:54:00.000-08:00

Student 1: *insert lame joke here*
Student 2: That wasn't even funny.
Student 1: Well, you know what? Your butt!
Student 2: What?
Student 1: Your face! Oh, oops. Same thing as the last insult. Buttface.

2009-01-15T17:52:00.000-08:00

The teacher just put live crickets into the lizard tank at the back of the classroom, which are supposed to serve as the lizards' food.

Student 1: *while leaving class with Student 2* Those crickets are so annoying! They never shut up.
Student 2: God, I know! I wish they'd just freakin die already!

Just hit the spider...

2009-01-15T17:47:00.000-08:00

During the last few minutes of class, the class is having a discussion about learning to play baseball as kids

Teacher: I only found out about a week ago that I've been batting wrong all my life, because we never had coaching like you guys do. We'd just go out on to the feild and figure out what we were supposed to do.
Student: You're supposed to hit the spider, remember?
Teacher: *gives student a weird look* What?
Student: You know. Like, when you're hitting the ball off the tee-thing, you're supposed to hit the spider.
Teacher: *getting irritated* Well, nobody ever taught me to hit the damn spider!

If You're Going to Bet. . .Don't

2009-01-15T17:39:00.000-08:00

In P.E, playing baseball

Girl 1: Shut up or I'll slap you with this [baseball] glove.

Girl 2: I bet you 2 billion bucks you won't slap me.

*slap*

Girl 1: You owe me 2 billion bucks.

I'm Bringing Greco-Roman Back

2009-01-08T19:12:00.001-08:00

English teacher's attempt in making a joke.

Teacher: Yes, they [humanists] were bringing Greco-Roman back.

*pause*

Teacher: Yeah, I also heard that the original song title was going to be Greco-RomanBack, but his producers wouldn't let him, so he settled for SexyBack.

*longest silence ever to be recorded in human history*

Student: Oooh! I get it! It's a Justin Timberlake's song!
Class: Ooooh. . .

Conceited Much?

2009-01-06T17:34:00.001-08:00

Girl 1: You're so freaking lucky.
Girl 2: Thanks, but why?
Girl 1: Because, you get to look at me right now.

Worms and their eyes...

2008-12-19T23:43:00.000-08:00

Photo Teacher: Class, there are three major perspectives from which you can take a photo.
There is worm's eye, sea level, and bird's eye. YOU move to get the photo YOU want.

Student 1: Worm's eye, sea level, bird's eye. Hmm... very interesting...

Student 2: Wait-but I thought worms don't have eyes!

Messages from beyond...

2008-12-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

Two girls talking about a guy who asked a girl out:

Girl 1: I heard she said no though...

Girl 2: Really? Did she give a reason?

Girl 1: Yeah... she said her grandma wouldn't let her.

Girl 2: But her grandma's dead...

Rain, rain, go away...

2008-12-16T22:34:00.000-08:00

Teacher: How many of you guys like the rain?

(students raise their hands)

Student [in intentionally high squeaky voice]:My mommy told me that when it rains, the angels are peeing after a party last night.

Teacher: Is that why you open your mouth towards the sky? Like this? (opens mouth real wide upward)

(laughter)

White people toasters

2008-12-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

Student 1 is trying to describe a conventional, pop-out-ish toaster to student 2, while student 3 looks on.

Student 1: Come on. You know what I'm talking about. Those toasters that have slits at the top!
Student 2: Huh?
Student 3: Like, white people toasters!

Crushed Hope

2008-12-08T15:55:00.000-08:00

Announcements: Alright Barons, don't forget that tomorrow is modified!

Students: Yay!!

Announcements: (sternly) No, it's not!

Students: Awww...

Women

2008-11-23T01:13:00.000-08:00

Class discussion about Sarah Palin after election...

Teacher: Palin just didn't understand her leadership roles if she became Vice President... that's it.

Student: It's because she's a WOMAN, right?

Teacher: (points back at student and nods head enthusiastically as if student had won a million dollars) YES! YES! That's EXACTLY why!!!!!!!!

Powerpoint and Wife

2008-11-23T01:01:00.000-08:00

Powerpoint randomly shuts off in the middle of a lecture in class...

Student 1: What the...?

Student 2: Uh-oh...

Teacher: That's ok. -Clicks powerpoint on- It does what I tell it to do. Just like my wife.

Prop 2: Farm Animals

2008-11-22T17:44:00.000-08:00

*class discussion about Propositions*

Teacher: I love animals
Class: ...
Teacher: I think they're delicious!

Get Some English Lessons Man

2008-11-20T19:44:00.000-08:00

In World History, playing out the Three Estates Game

Student 1 (to King): Discommunicate him! Discommunicate him! Discommunacate him! [in reference to a traitor]
Teacher whispers: Hey student's name, it's EXcommunicate.

Later, during a third estate's revolt against the King

Student 1 (same student as above): King, you put unguilty people in jail!
Several students and teacher: INNOCENT people!
Teacher: Yeah student's name, learn some English.

2008-11-18T19:36:00.000-08:00

after lesson for the day was complete

Teacher: Okay you guys, just read or do something quietly for the rest of the period.
Boy begins talking to his friends.
Teacher: Boy's name, either stare at the wall or read! No third option.

Oh Canada...

2008-11-18T19:34:00.000-08:00

the day after the results of the Presidential Election were announced

Boy: Obama won!
Girl: (disappointed look) I know... Canada here I come!

After the Bell Game Assembly...

2008-11-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

Teacher: So I'm really confused about the assembly
Students: Ok what didn't you get?
Teacher: Who were those two guys?
Students: What?? You've never heard of Mario and Luigi and SuperMario Brothers???
Teacher: No who are they?
Student 1: (whispering to student 2) wow that's what we're going to be like in 50 years.
silence

'great' way to get the bell

2008-11-07T22:04:00.001-08:00

Teacher: "...this year we need to win the bell game. Look at the seniors, throughout their whole high school experience, we haven't won it once..."

Student: "Why don't we just buy a bell?"

Student adventures

2008-11-05T17:02:00.000-08:00

The bell rings and the morning announcements begin as student #1 and student #2 enter the class together.

Teacher: "You're late, get a tardy slip."

Students leave the classroom to get tardy slips. (5 minutes later) Student #1 comes in.

Teacher: "Where's student #2?"

Student #1: Mumbling "I don't know.."

(30 seconds later) Student #2 enters classroom with bell game tickets in one hand and tardy slip in another.

Teacher: astonished "You got tickets!"

Student #2: "Well, it was on the way..."

Class laughter

Prop 4

2008-11-05T15:37:00.001-08:00

Government Class just finished the "school" voting during 3rd period. Now students want to vote on some more important issues...

Male Student 1: Mr. (Teacher)! Can we now vote on Prop 4? See what our class would say about it?

Male Student 2: What is Prop 4 about?

Male Student 1: Ahh... it's about abortion- whether it should be mandatory that parents know their daughters would be getting one...

Female Student: (points at Male Student 1) Hey! It shouldn't interest you, since you won't ever be pregnant!

Teacher: YOU NEVER KNOW! It happened on Oprah!

Student: Mr. (Teacher), it was a trans gender...

Teacher: THAT'S TRUE! But still! You never know what could happen...

Class laughter

No Comment

2008-11-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

Teacher: "So, my brother lives across the street by the field..."

Student: "Oh, I bet he does..."

Oh yeah?

2008-11-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

On Halloween, the teacher is dressed up as an Egyptian queen and is trying to get the class to settle down

Teacher: Hey, you guys! You must listen to me for I am the queen of Egypt and this is my land.

Student: Oh yeah? Well, I'm ___________.

Anticipated silence

Teacher: Nice one.

Brain Matter

2008-10-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

Girl: Why do you have that bandage covering your nose?

Boy #1: I had a sinus surgery.

Boy #2: So the bandage keeps thing out so it doesn't get an infection.

Boy #1: It doesn't let anything out either.

Boy #2 joking: Yeah, so things like brain matter doesn't come spilling out.

Girl: Really?!

Boys crack up

Would you like a hearing aide?

2008-10-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

In English class, discussing "Oedipus."

Teacher: So, any questions?
Girl 1: Was Oedipus just venting his anger right then?
Teacher: What?
Girl 1: Venting.
Teacher: *cups hands around ear.* What!?
Girl 1: Venting!
Teacher: God, I wish I could hear.
Girl 2 sitting nearer to teacher: VENTING!
Teacher: I heard her!
Girl 2: *timidly* Okay... *averts eyes*

Secret Asian Man

2008-10-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

Two guys standing in front of the 400 building after school, waiting to be picked up.

*guy 1 starts singing. guy 2 follows suit.*
Guy 1: Somewhere over the ocean. Somewhere over the sea.
Guy 2: Somewhere waiting for me.
Guy 1 and 2 in unison: Secret Asian Man, Secret Asian Maaan

Mock Trial Fun

2008-10-23T23:41:00.000-07:00

The Mock Trial attorneys are deciding who they are preparing their direct examinations on

Person 1: "Hey, who are you doing?"

Person 2 starts laughing

Person 2: "Believe me, I'm not DOING anyone." - clears throat - "But yeah, I'm directing him."

Person 1 gets the joke and starts laughing as well

Person 3: "NO! I'M DOING HIM!!!"

New Seating Chart

2008-10-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Students have been given a new seating chart and are getting to know their neighbors

Student 1: "Hey, what history are you in?"

Student 2: "We're in the same class!"

Student 1: -confused- "Is this some kind of joke?"

Student 2: "No, I'm serious!"

Scary

2008-10-16T07:11:00.000-07:00

In P.E learning the rules of tag football

Teacher: And don't put your flag belt in front of your whatever whatever because you don't want to be touched in weird places.

Awkward silence

Physically, eh?

2008-10-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

Government class talking about how family contributes to life...

Teacher: Are any of you closer to one of your parents?

Student #1: Yeah.

Student #2: Well it depends...

Student #3: Oh, definitely.

Student #4: Well physically, yeah.

Class: WHAT?!

Horrible Day.

2008-10-14T15:57:00.000-07:00

Student 1 joins group of friends exhausted. As Student 1 takes a seat, the 5th period bell rings

Student 1: Omg! Whatever, I'm staying right here. I've had such a bad day. I woke up half an hour late this morning, had two major assignments due today, I had to print my English essay today in class b/c it's due today, I missed some things in Chem because I had to print my English essay, and I have a test next period.
Student 2: That really sucks.
Student 1: I don't even want to know what's going to be for dinner.

Hoow Du Yoo Spel Dat?

2008-10-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

In Biology class, presenting organelle projects

Student 1: The nucleus is made up of RNA and proteins.
Student 2: How do you spell RNA?
Student 3: Uhm. R-N-A?

History class or nap time?

2008-10-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Class what are your opinions on what we read in the text book?

Class: ...........................

Teacher: Great opinions.

simplicity

2008-10-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Now class, who was the son of Edward the fifth?

Student: Edward the sixth?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T the F-R-E-S-H-M-E-N

2008-10-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

In P.E doing circuit training

Student 1: Ew. I don't want to run with the freshmen. We're so much cooler. They're disgusting.
Student 2 (normally always quiet): Dude, shut up, you're like shorter than all the freshmen.

Teacher pats Student 2 on the back

Teacher: I didn't know you could talk!

Awkward

2008-10-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

Students are in Spanish class.

Student: Mr._______, can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Yes, but you have to ask that question in Spanish since we're in Spanish class.

Student: Okay, ¿Vamos al baño? (means, "Let's go to the bathroom" or "Can you and I go to the bathroom?").

Teacher: umm well, I'm not going with you...

Class starts cracking up

Student: wait, what?

C'mon People! Use Those God-Given Ears!

2008-10-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

In the library, checking out a book

Student Aid: Ok, do you have your ID card number?
Student: No, but I have my number.

Martin Skywalker

2008-09-30T19:45:00.001-07:00

Teacher: In the Peasant's Revolt during the Reformation, which side do you think Martin Luther joined?

Student: The Dark Side?

"We're all gonna die someday anyway"

2008-09-29T20:35:00.000-07:00

Class discussion about death penalty...

Student 1: In that case then, isn't capital punishment considered cruel and unusual?

Student 2: No! It's not UNUSUAL, ok? We're all gonna die someday anyway! So it's legal!

Mythical Meals

2008-09-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

bell signaling beginning of lunch rings. Students get up to leave.

Teacher: Not so fast. I wasn't done talking.
Student: Come on! We're gonna be late for lunch.
Teacher: Lunch? What lunch? Food is a myth...

silence

Dying Teacher!?

2008-09-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

Teacher begins coughing violently.

Student: Mr. _____'s dying!

Teacher abruptly stops talking and turns to student with angry glare.

In a stern voice:
Teacher: I'm not dying.

A Love of Sandwiches

2008-09-28T19:39:00.001-07:00

Boy: Did you just kiss a sandwich?

Girl: It's chicken salad!

Awkward Class Discussion...

2008-09-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Didn't you guys hear about that? There was a girl from Oregon in the news who was riding her bike around naked in public. Many people were questioning whether that was obscene or not...

Student: Wasn't she... cold?

Homecoming Votes...

2008-09-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Ok- so you're gonna vote for a Homecoming Queen...

(places all Homecoming girls pictures on wall)

...and for a Homecoming Dork.

(places all Homecoming boys pictures on wall)

Presidential Mathematics

2008-09-28T11:19:00.001-07:00

Teacher: As you can see, this diagram is just like our presidential elections--it's totally confusing.

Butter.

2008-09-23T19:15:00.001-07:00

Student who participates a lot in class already raises hand eagerly to answer another question.

Teacher: Dang __________, you're like butta today....
on a roll.

Sing along song.

2008-09-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Today I was singing all of first and second period.

Students (in third period): ...?

Teacher: What? It's a good way to teach the Declaration of Independence!

Donuts.

2008-09-23T19:08:00.000-07:00

Teacher 1 comes into classroom with box of donuts, offers them to Teacher 2.

Teacher 2: No, no, no donuts are bad. Look at what they've done to me.

Student: What?? Donuts make you bald?!?!

Beautiful witches

2008-09-22T22:44:00.000-07:00

English class reading Macbeth...

Teacher: Now, these witches are really really ugly. You have to understand that. They have warts, facial hair... dirty nails- they're just real ugly.

(Student raises his hand)

Student: But... SOME witches can be pretty.

(whole class pauses)

Teacher: Ugh... they CAN... ugh...but these AREN'T.

Colorful Conversation.

2008-09-22T19:46:00.001-07:00

Girl 1: You like guys?! I knew it, I just knew it!
Girl 2: *In an Arabic accent* I always like the guys.
Girl 1: Let's hope so.

Italian Elephants

2008-09-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

Teacher discussing Renaissance Art

Teacher: What is the first thing you think when you see the title of "Arnolfini and his Bride?"

All Students: They're getting married?

Teacher: Yes, but what does the name "Arnolfini" sound like?

A Student: An elephant?

Teacher: No...Italian...

Student: Ooooo. -blushes-

I am Virile

2008-09-22T18:42:00.001-07:00

The teacher is giving the definitions for the weekly vocab.

Teacher: Virile. They have many pictures throughout some dictionaries. Next to the word "virile" is a picture of me.

Students blankly stare.

Teacher: "Virile" means manly.

All the students start cracking up.

Teacher: I see no humor in that.

So cold, it burned.

2008-09-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

Girl #1: (singing) Yo quiero bailar, yo quiero cantar ....

Girl #2: Start psychoanalyzing my writing already!

Girl #1: I thought you didn't believe in that stuff.

Girl #2: It's because I want you to stop singing.

Girl #3 & Boy: OOOOOOOOO

Girl #1: That was cold.

Girl #3: So cold it burned!

Carpe Diem

2008-09-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Who can explain to me what Carpe Diem means?

Student 1: Sharpe what?

Student 2: Your face is what?

Student 1: What about my butt?

Student 2: Who's Carpe?

Knowledge in AP Art History

2008-09-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

Boy: What's a wet fresco?

Teacher: A wet fresco looks like a wall that's not dry

Boy: You mean like drywall?

Odd Attraction....

2008-09-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

History Teacher: So can anyone tell me why we keep hearing about the Magna Carta? What's the significance? What's so great about it?

Student: Because its sexy.

*silence...*

Chris Who?

2008-09-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

Teacher: "So what did you guys do over the weekend?"

Student: "I hung out with Chris Brown."

Class: "No way!"

Teacher: "Who's Chris Brown?"

Cyan

2008-09-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

Art Teacher: Cyan, Yellow, and Magenta are the new set of complimentary colors.

Boy: I'm gonna name my daughter Cyan.

Enlightening

2008-09-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

After a video

Teacher: Wasn't that video enlightening?

Students: -silence-

Teacher: Okay...well, why don't we turn on the lights, now?

Lights turn on

Student: Now that was "enlightening."

Road trip

2008-09-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Okay, you guys. We need to learn how to make graphs correctly. This is a graph of a trip over time, and it's measured in 10 km per hour. Every graph needs a title. What should it be?

Student: Harold and Kumar's Summer Road Trip.

Change

2008-09-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Change, Obama says...I think the only thing he can change is his underwear.

And I hope he does that.

Zealous Student

2008-09-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Teacher: "What does the word anteayer mean? Anyone?"

Girl: "Yesterday! It means yesterday! YESTERDAY YESTERDAY!!!"

Teacher: "Good, you're technically right. I think you mean the day BEFORE yesterday."

Class laughs

Girl: flushes "Yeah."

X-rated?

2008-09-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

A random picture of braces and elastic bands shows up on the class power point.

Student: You have such a sick sense of humor.

Teacher: You'd think it would be X-rated or something.

Illegal things...

2008-09-10T15:05:00.000-07:00

Class is having discussion about having driver's licenses in different states...

Teacher: You can't use your California license when you live... let's say...in New York. After 30 days, you need to go to the DMV and change it.

Student: Well, what if you're like... a college student? Do you still have to change it?

Teacher: No. You can't have a license from California if your residence has formally changed to somewhere else.

Student: No, my uncle lives in New Jersey... and--
(interrupted by class groans)

Teacher: Hey- I'm not saying you CAN'T do ILLEGAL THINGS, but you know...

What's the Plural of Slang?

2008-09-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

In a science class...

Teacher (asking a random question): What is the plural of ya'all?

Boy: Ya'alls? -doesn't realize what he is saying-

Teacher: Nope. All ya'all!

Boy: I don't get it...

Spanish Ballet

2008-09-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

Student 1: I should learn how to do ballet like you.

Student 2: Oh my gosh yeah! I'll help you.

Student 1: Yeah! Klie!

Student 2: Haha what?

Student 1: Its what people in ballet say.

Student 2: Hahaha you mean plie?

Student 1: Yeah same thing, its all Spanish.

Tricky Poems

2008-09-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

Boy 1: Dude, I had to read a poem in Spanish today.

Boy 2: Aw man that sucks!

Boy 1: I know! I was like, I can't even understand a poem in English, how am I supposed to understand one in another language.

Deep insights...

2008-09-08T17:41:00.000-07:00

(while looking at a picture in a text book)

Student 1: (points at painting within picture) Look! It's a picture... in a picture.
Student 2: *shiver* That was deep.

Hair Clip

2008-09-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

Student messenger enters classroom. Gives note to teacher.

Teacher: [Kyle] your mommy left your hair clip in the office.

Gives [Kyle] note.

[Kyle]: It's my parking permit!

Aloha Dance

2008-09-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

Boy#1 How was the dance on Friday?

Boy#2 Pretty good except my feet hurt.

Too Hot

2008-09-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Student enters stuffy classroom after lunch.

Girl: Ohhh... it's so hot in here!

Boy: I'm sorry - do you want me to leave?

How they name spiders

2008-09-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

A big spider with red dots sits on a web in front of Mr. Uribe's room. Everyone looks at it.

Uribe: Since I don't think anyone has ever seen this spider before, I'm hoping they'll let me name it after myself.

Student: But then people will be like, "Ewwwww! It's a Uribe!!"

Nervous "Senior"

2008-08-31T00:10:00.000-07:00

Boy 1 to Boy 2: "So what does it feel like to be a freshman on the first day school?"
Boy 2: "What are you talking about? I'm a senior. "
Boy 1: -rolls eyes- "Yeah sure."
Boy 2: "I'm serious."
The 2 minute bell rings
Boy 2: "OH NO! Was that the late bell?! I'm going to be so late!" (starts to run)
Boy 1: "Some senior."

Blurry

2008-08-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

Person 1 plays with Person 2's camera.

Person 1: I'm going to take a picture.
Person 2: Okay.
Person 1: -squints into viewfinder- Hey. It's all blurry!
Person 2: Hm. -adjusts lens- It looks fine.
Person 1: -squints- It's STILL blurry.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: -looks about camera looking for a flaw-

"Oh. I just don't have my contacts on."

Love

2008-07-14T11:14:00.001-07:00

Person 1: -singing- "Give me a gun and I'll start a war/ if you tell me something worth fighting for."

That's from Coldplay.

Person 2: MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.

If I were gay...

2008-06-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

Student 1: Kobe Bryant is a GOD!

Student 2: Like the Jesus of Basketball!

Student 1: I know seriously, if I was gay I would want him like, sooooooo bad.

Wahoo's

2008-06-02T13:28:00.001-07:00

Teacher: Okay so I was at Wahoo's with a friend when someone came up behind me, gave me a hug, and kissed me on the cheek.

Student: Who, your mom?

Damaged

2008-06-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

Student 1: You know that new "Damaged" song by Danity Kane?

Student 2: Ya, I LOVE it!

Student 1: Me too, (begins singing) "...can you fix my H-E-R-A-T..."

Student 2: Whats a HERAT?

Student 1: Heart! That's what I said, H-E-R-A-T.

Notes

2008-06-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

Student 1: I'm so glad we were allowed to have notes on the test.

Student 2: We were allowed notes on the test?!

Teacher: You didn't hear?

Student 2: No.

Student 1: Didn't you see everyone with their notes out?

Student 2: Yeah, but I thought all you guys were cheating.

Parlez-vous Francais?

2008-06-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Student 1: Qu'avez-vous fait pendant le week-end?

Student 2: Who did I do over the weekend?

Student 1: Nooo, what did you do?